Determined to Live

Last night was one of the best nights I have had in a long while. Determined to live life at some level of lifestyle. I was resolved to enjoy the evening with our grandkids. We have been babysitting for our daughter for almost four months 5-6 nights a week until she could get on her feet to be able to afford daycare of some sort. Last night was the first time in the last four months that the kids have been at the house on my terms, no babysitting, mom was there, football and movie night planned.

The last day of babysitting was Friday night. She has finally gotten her finances in order and can manage daycare, amd we can get back to being grandparents. Yesterday was a celebration for both our daughter and us as grandparents.

After an evening of watching the kids on a regular night, I am wiped out. My body aches, and I am completely exhausted. Our two almost three-year-old grandson is a big boy (around 46lbs last time I weighed him), and he needs much attention. He loves to be held and is regularly muttering the words “hold me” at my feet with his arms held high.

Again, I am determined to live some level of normal life, and yesterday was no different. We started with a late lunch of grilled burgers which are the kid’s favorite. The psoriasis is acting up and has made quite a mess of my hands, so Ayden came to the rescue. Over the last four months, he has come to love watching and helping to make dinner. It is much easier to plant him on a chair next to me while working in the kitchen rather than chase him, and he loves helping.

We washed his little hands and helped him squash out the burgers. It was quite a feet for him. Ayden has mild autism, and there are some things that he has trouble with and texture is one of them. I thought for sure he was going to have an issue with the strange cold feeling of the hamburger, but he had fun helping out. I was very proud of him.

Once we finished eating, the kids wanted to go on a walk. Before fibromyalgia struck so hard and fast, we would walk every night after dinner. Since then we have not been able to walk as much as we used to. So since their mom was there, they wanted to stick to tradition. I decided to go with them. If nothing else I could stop short and catch them on the way back.

I made it the distance! Maybe because I was walking at a slow, relaxed pace, possibly because mom was chasing Ayden. Who knows, I was proud of myself for sticking it out.

After the walk, we watched a little football which is something else we have made a habit of, and Ayden lasts about five minutes at a time, but it is great. He gets so excited when they catch the ball, or score… It is wonderful because we are a football family. After that, we made a pallet on the floor for the kids and watched a movie. Ayden was out like a light as soon as popcorn was over. I was surprised that Grayce made it through the movie.

Jess helped clean up the kitchen and took the kids home. It was a great night, but exhausting. As Mike and I sat there in the now very quiet house, we realized how tired we both were, so it was off to bed for us around 10 p.m.

While babysitting, my normal bedtime had been between 1 and 2 a.m. So needless to say ten was quite an early bedtime. For once I did not have much trouble falling to sleep, and slept for an abnormally long time, not waking up until 6 a.m. Here’s the kicker…. I felt like I had the flue!

Being determined to live something that looks like a normal life has committed a personal foul. I feel like one of the front linemen In last night’s football game. Hit, kicked, twisted, bruised, all adjectives that would describe how I am feeling this morning waking with exhaustion even though I just slept for 9 hours. On the bright side, the sick skin from yesterday has subsided!

What are your rebound days like? How do you get through them? Do you give in and settle for a lesser lifestyle or are you determined to live?

I would love to hear how you do it!

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